“We as a society look to our pleasures while our brothers and sisters rot away in these concrete and steel tombs where we conveniently hide our mistakes” (Author Unknown)
One can only imagine the living hell that the individual who originally penned the above statement was living. He or she may have been in a dark and dingy prison cell or strapped in 4 point restraint in a mental health facility closed off from the rest of the world. I have always referred to these places as my “box” or “my little corner of the world”.
Tonight the lights just went out I can hear the buzz of a fan somewhere and an attendant’s television. I think the late show is on, not sure but I hear some sort of laughter. I can move around in my box here but what is the use, I am caged, an animal, waiting for the next instruction of my captors. I just heard the flush of a toilet a few cages down and someone is crying themselves to sleep.
I’ve said my prayers and asked God to bring me safe to another day of light and life. Some nights I have actually just asked him to take me away from all this but he doesn’t seem to answer that request. (While tonight I must admit, I am happy he only answers my prayers for hope and forgiveness). I just can’t find rest. The medications I was given three hours ago don’t seem to be taking affect.
It’s midnight the keeper has just changed shifts. I am just getting to sleep when suddenly all of the lights come blazing on and alarms are ringing and the noises are just unbearable. What is going on? I look down the isle of cages and I can make out a team of folks opening another persons’ cage to remove yet another person who could no longer take the confinement. Lifeless and non-responsive is the call out as medical attendants arrive. The lights go dark again and the alarms silent as fast as they began.
In a few hours the lights will return, the glimmer of sunshine will filter in through the dirty glass and the empty bed down the way will be filled by yet another outcast from society. The circle never seems to end. I wish I had taken another road in my journey. Does anyone even remember my name? Will my day of reckoning ever come? Am I stuck in this box for eternity?
Originally composed December 12th 2004
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