Controlling this monkey on my back....

I tried something unusual this morning. I walked into my group session at the East with a stuffed Curious George monkey sewn to the back side of my shirt. This stuffed animal was concealed by my jacket and I casually sat down like every other day and when it came my time to share, I stood up and took my jacket off to reveal that I was carrying this damned monkey around on my back. Most of those in the room were stunned that I would make such a statement and I actually had to explain what the monkey signified but others knew right off the point I was trying to make.

My individual therapist Barb was a little taken aback to discover what I had done and she spoke to me about it afterwards. She thought it was some sort of grandstanding and I explained that this was not my intention at all. I explained that the point I was trying to make was that we ALL have issues and mine was not just my past addictions but even current crisis and events that continue to haunt me.

Are you walking around with a monkey on your back? Most of us are. "Monkeys" are worries, regrets, anger and guilt that never keep quiet and refuse to sit still. They are born from the more than 50,000 thoughts each of us think each day, largely about things we cannot control, do not wish to see happen, won’t have time to experience or can’t let go. When it comes to mind and spirit self-improvement, monkeys are what hold us back from thinking clearly, reaching our goals and feeling more peaceful.

It means that there is some negative situation going on that, no matter what you do, it won't go away. It has a variety of applications. This phrase is used for addicts who can't stop abusing whatever it is they're addicted to. But, it's also used to describe an athlete who can't seem to reach some kind of athletic milestone (like when Barry Bonds was stuck at 755 home runs, he finally "got the monkey off his back" when he hit 756 and finally broke the home run record).

The phrase is derived from the notion that monkeys cling to things with their hands and their feet (they have opposable foot thumbs) and, were a monkey to climb onto your back where you can't reach him, you would have a very difficult time removing the monkey from your back, no matter what you tried, if the monkey chose not to climb down. What this implies is, by "having a monkey on your back," the negative situation has taken on a life of its own and is willfully imposing itself on you.

I believe we never totally get rid of these damned monkeys but I know that if I keep working on it we can control them and train them to our advantage and somehow help others.

Originally written June 2005

Have a blessed day...See you soon.