Did I miss a chapter in the parenting book.....

I sure wish I knew what the set plan is for parenting. Sure there are lots of self help books and parenting for dummies but none of the ever seem to have the answers. We are to nurture or children, cloth them, feed and educate them. We also are going to naturally protect them at all costs. Some of the books I have read about parenting over the years are just a load of poop!!!

You don't have to tell me that when a child says they are hungry...to feed them. Or when a diaper stinks to change them. You don't have to tell me that when a child scrapes their knee to comfort them or clean the wound. This is all instinctive action that all parents take.

I have always said that “I will go to any length” to protect my children, this holds true more so for my daughter than my son. Now I am sure that the real difference there is typical gender bias where “the boy is always stronger than a girl” and can protect themselves more independently.

Now the Lord knows that I have been anything other than the “perfect parent”. I am human, I fail, I have shortcomings and weak points. I have never claimed to be “super Dad”. I used to blame all parental shortcomings on my own childhood but have discovered later in adult life that even that is a load of crap.

So in January my baby girl turned 18 and she all of a sudden (in my opinion) wanted to be treated like she was 30 and knew everything about life. She used to come over for Sunday dinner and the last time she came over she brought a young man she met on the Internet and I was offended. I took what I saw as a potential bad decision on her part to “hook up” with this young man and acted in what I thought was a mature and normal thing to do. I checked this young man out on line in “publicly available” sites and did a little background check on him.

Needless to say my “adult” daughter took great offense to my actions and would not listen for reason. In her eyes what I did was totally wrong and uncalled for. She hasn't spoken to me now for about a month and I can only hope that someday she sees what I did wasn't a reflection upon her, but a true reflection on life and mankind. We are living in a world of insanity where terrible things happen to many people everyday.

I tried to send her a cell phone image of her cat this evening and she failed to respond. This silence is killing me and I am hurting deep from her absence. I see now ho much my own mother must have felt when I decided at a young age that “I knew everything” and no one could tell me otherwise. These was not a thing anyone could do to convince me that I was wrong and parents were right. I am just wondering if I missed the chapter in the parenting books about letting our kids discover pain and heartbreak for themselves or just letting them run wild and do their own thing. I just wish I could get her to listen to reason.

                  I miss you Jessica----Hope to see you soon.

                                             Love Dad

                                              3-27-11